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my special interest is studying and talking about “torah, talmud and (jewish)theology”. not many, if any, on fb has that special interest. yesterday was a day when i felt extremely lonely in this (i always feel lonely in this, but yesterday was extreme). i said to a friend:

“if only my special interest had been trains (like a normal aspie) or britney spears (like a normal gay aspie). no, no, i had to pick torah… which no normal yid cares about as long as a rabbi doesn’t tell them they can’t eat chinese on xmas. i tried joining other torah groups on fb, but most of them are either militant orthodox or wishy-washy renewal. in the first kind i know too little and in the second kind i either know too much or am ‘too jewish’.”

it is true, i feel lonely. i have always felt lonely, on the outside looking in – i have never had a group of my equals to share my special interest with. it is painful.