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i know i am not alone – and my favorite male TV character – Sheldon – illustrates my basic problem perfectly. gotta love that aspie 😀

From Big Bang Theory – Season 2 Episode 1 – The Bad Fish Paradigm

Sheldon: That poster of Halle Berry is a little unnerving.

Howard: So don’t look at it.

Sheldon: She’s like my fourth favorite Catwoman.

Howard: No Kidding.

Sheldon: Yeah, Julie Newmar, Michelle Pfeiffer, Eartha Kitt and then her.

Howard: What about Lee Meriweather?

Sheldon: Oh, I forgot about Lee Meriweather.

Howard: Well I’m glad that is settled.

Sheldon: That makes Halle Berry my fifth favorite Catwoman. It’s Julie Newmar, Michelle Pfeiffer, Eartha Kitt, Lee Meriweather”

Howard: Please I’m begging you go to sleep.

Sheldon: I’m trying. I’m counting Catwomen.

Sheldon: She did make a fine mutant in the X-Men movies, though.

Howard: Oh for God sake.

Sheldon: She’s not my favorite of the X-Men though. In order that would be wolverine, Cyclops — wait I forgot Professor X. Professor X, Wolverine, Cyclops, Iceman, then Storm, Angel, the Beast — No wait Nightcrawler. Professor X, Nightcrawler, Wolverine, Cyclops, Iceman, then Storm, Angel, the Beast.

i am an insomniac. or, not really. most nights are spent ‘counting’ failures, lost friends, lost life, and having endless conversations with anyone who’s ever been part of my life in some capacity. especially those who hurt me.

obsessing.

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what arrives the moment i have stopped engaging in something that will keep my mind ‘off those topics’ depends on what has been going on during the day – if it’s been a quiet day old crap will pop up, but if something major happened, that will be the ‘agenda’.

i have tried various means of self-medication – exercise, meditation, relaxation techniques… to no avail.

it is alleviated somewhat by remembering to take my meds a couple of hours before going to bed. but not to the extent i would like.

i  have received several suggestions from friends about melatonin – only i have no idea where to get that. not in sweden at least.

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