i hate lists. i am good at making them. i hate them. nothing bad about lists. they are very helpful. practical and orderly. organized. they are good for me. i hate them. they work for what they are made for – structure. i hate structure. i loathe it. it is good for me. very good. i hate it. it interferes with my life. it is like being shackled and gagged.
8.00 am – wake up
8.15 am – walk dog
8.45 am – take shower
9.15 am – make breakfast
9.30 am – eat breakfast, take medicine
10.30 am – clear table, wash dishes
11.00 am – brush teeth, load washing machine
11.30 am – walk dog
12.00 pm – prepare lunch
12.30 pm – eat lunch
1.30 pm – clear table, wash dishes
2.00 pm – tidy home, hang laundry
3.00 pm – prepare snack
3.15 pm – eat snack
3.30 pm – walk dog
6.00 pm – prepare dinner
6.30 pm – eat dinner
7.30 pm – clear table, wash dishes
8.00 pm – take shower, meditate
8.30 pm – have cup of tea, take medicine
9.00 pm – go to bed, read book
10.00 pm – lights out.
i hate it. because it leaves no room for just being me, doing what i want. any activity i decide to do will ultimately be chopped to pieces by – structure. which means that i stick with lists for a week, and then i feel so restricted and hampered by it that i give up. feeling deprived of anything fun and interesting.