Books1i spent my entire life putting myself down for being who i am. i also spent my whole life getting put down by others for who i am.

i talk to much…

i think too much…

i am too intelligent…

then i got my diagnose – adhd – and suddenly so much fell into place. i finally had a REASON to why i do things the way i do. i am not lazy. bad. inconsiderate. stupid. disobedient. abusive. have an addictive personality or any of the other things others have labeled me as over the years. i have a disability. like bad hearing. missing a leg. blind. that is all.

yes. i need help with certain things. like cleaning. remembering appointments. managing my emotions. getting things done. finding strategies for coping with overload. there is help out there i can get.

medication – both for my adhd and my depression and anxiety.

personal assistance – with cleaning and appointments.

but the biggest help so far has been UNDERSTANDING.

i still have to explain to others what adhd means, what my symptoms are and so on. i, myself, am still learning to stop telling myself all the put-downs, but at least i now have a clear reason to do so. i am not, as before, trying to find reasons outside myself – my childhood, bad choice in partners, etc. yes. all that too plays a part. but the recurring stuff, the stuff that does not have to do with any of that. the stuff that has not changed despite hard personal work. that is my disability. that i cannot change – only learn to live with.