i hate lists. i am good at making them. i hate them. nothing bad about lists. they are very helpful. practical and orderly. organized. they are good for me. i hate them. they work for what they are made for – structure. i hate structure. i loathe it. it is good for me. very good. i hate it. it interferes with my life. it is like being shackled and gagged.
8.00 am – wake up
8.15 am – walk dog
8.45 am – take shower
9.15 am – make breakfast
9.30 am – eat breakfast, take medicine
10.30 am – clear table, wash dishes
11.00 am – brush teeth, load washing machine
11.30 am – walk dog
12.00 pm – prepare lunch
12.30 pm – eat lunch
1.30 pm – clear table, wash dishes
2.00 pm – tidy home, hang laundry
3.00 pm – prepare snack
3.15 pm – eat snack
3.30 pm – walk dog
…
6.00 pm – prepare dinner
6.30 pm – eat dinner
7.30 pm – clear table, wash dishes
8.00 pm – take shower, meditate
8.30 pm – have cup of tea, take medicine
9.00 pm - go to bed, read book
10.00 pm – lights out.
…
i hate it. because it leaves no room for just being me, doing what i want. any activity i decide to do will ultimately be chopped to pieces by – structure. which means that i stick with lists for a week, and then i feel so restricted and hampered by it that i give up. feeling deprived of anything fun and interesting.
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…crumple up dirty napkin and set on counter because your brain cannot be bothered to a) notice that you are holding a dirty napkin, b) think “I don’t want this, what do I do with it?” c) come up with a plausible solution to that question and d) take action on whatever solution you come up with. No, instead your brain becomes vaguely aware that you are holding something and that you don’t want to hold it anymore because you need your hands to rearrange the magnetic words on your refrigerator into the phrase “monkey butt suck.” The fact that you are holding a dirty napkin which should be thrown away doesn’t even register. Just “hands full, must empty hands.” The simplest solution is to set whatever is in your hands on the nearest horizontal surface… (from themacroscope)
